My Journey Through Mental Health
For years, I kept my depression bottled up. I carried the weight of it with me, day after day, trying to manage it alone. I convinced myself that I had to be strong, that showing vulnerability would only make things worse. But eventually, the pressure became too much, and I found myself on the edge—a breakdown that led to a suicide attempt.
It was in that darkest moment that I realized something had to change. I couldn’t keep living in silence, pretending everything was okay. I made the difficult decision to open up about the issues I was facing. I reached out to professionals and talked to a few close friends. At first, it felt like a huge relief, like I was finally letting go of a burden I had carried for far too long.
But as I began to recover, I noticed something that caught me off guard: people started to distance themselves from me. Friends who once seemed close began to drift away. It hurt, but in some ways, it made sense. I was angry, I was negative, and I was dealing with heavy, uncomfortable topics. I was also a zombie on some of those medications. People don’t always know how to handle that, and sometimes they choose to walk away rather than confront it.
The alienation pushed me to start bottling up my feelings again. I didn’t want to drive more people away. I didn’t want to be the “downer” in the room. But this time, instead of letting the darkness consume me, I decided to take a different approach. I turned inward, practicing self-reflection and self-analysis. I learned to navigate my emotions without becoming numb to them through medication. It was a hard road, but it was the one I needed to take.
A big part of navigating that pain was through writing—something that’s always been a part of me. Whenever I found myself in a dark place, I’d turn to rap verses, putting my thoughts and emotions into rhythm and rhyme. I’ve never recorded them or aimed to be a rapper; it’s just what I know. It was my way of making sense of the chaos in my mind, a form of expression that helped me survive when everything else felt like it was falling apart.
Now, I’m moving that outlet to a new space, expanding from rap verses to broader writing. I feel that the act of writing, putting my thoughts and feelings into words, is incredibly therapeutic. It became my outlet, my way of venting the negativity that I didn’t want to burden others with. Writing allows me to process my emotions, to understand them, and to begin the slow process of healing.
As I continue on this journey, I’ve come to understand that mental health is not a linear path. There are ups and downs, moments of clarity, and times of deep struggle. The stress can feel overwhelming, like the cards are stacked against me, but I’ve learned to find strength in self-awareness and venting.
This article is part of that journey, a place where I can share my thoughts with the world, even if no one listens. It’s my way of breaking the silence, of refusing to let the stigma around mental health keep me from speaking out. If you’re reading this, I hope it resonates with you. I hope it reminds you that you’re not alone, and that there is strength in vulnerability.
Mental health is deeply personal and often misunderstood. When we talk about depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, it’s important to recognize that everyone’s experience is unique. What works for one person might not work for another. That’s why it’s crucial to approach mental health with empathy and an open mind.
In my own experience, I’ve found that the process of self-reflection—taking time to understand my thoughts and feelings—has been incredibly valuable. It’s allowed me to identify patterns, to see where my emotions are coming from, and to develop healthier ways of coping. But I also recognize that this is just one piece of the puzzle. Professional help, support from loved ones, and sometimes medication can all play critical roles in managing mental health.
The Power of Connection
One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with mental health issues is the feeling of isolation. When you’re in the midst of a depressive episode, it can feel like no one else understands what you’re going through. This sense of alienation is compounded by the fact that people often distance themselves from those who are struggling. It’s a painful cycle—one that can make you feel even more alone.
But connection is also one of the most powerful tools we have in the fight for mental well-being. Whether it’s talking to a friend, a therapist, or even expressing your thoughts through writing, reaching out and connecting with others can make a world of difference. It’s not always easy, and it requires a level of vulnerability that can be uncomfortable, but it’s worth it.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s the importance of finding your voice. Whether you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue, your experience is valid. You have the right to speak out, to share your story, and to seek the help you need. It doesn’t matter if others feel uncomfortable or if they don’t understand—your mental health matters.
This article is my voice, my way of saying that I won’t be silenced by stigma or fear. It’s a reminder to myself and to anyone reading that mental health is a journey, and it’s okay to ask for help along the way.
